Funeral Message for Walter “Joe” Kaiser

Obituary

Walter "Joe" Kaiser, Jr., 52, of Vincennes, passed away April 28, 2024. He was born in Washington, January 24, 1972, to Walter Kaiser and Joyce (Horsting) Ashcraft. Joe attended Washington High School and graduated with the Class of 1990.

Joe worked as a welder for Hurricane Ditches. In his free time, he enjoyed watching the Indianapolis Colts, deer hunting, fishing, attending car shows, water sports and welding. Joe will be deeply missed.

Those who now cherish Joe's memory include his daughter, Gretchen (Blake Anderson) Kaiser; mother and stepfather, Joyce and Mark Ashcraft of Vincennes; siblings, Scott Kaiser, Karen Donovan and Alana Hatfield, all of Vincennes.

Joe was preceded in death by his father, Walter Kaiser.

Message

Friends and family, thank you for gathering today to remember and celebrate Joe Kaiser’s life. This is not an easy day for any of you, but your presence here, your kind words, and your acts of sympathy and love matter.

On days like these, love matters. It is foolish to think we can distill Joe’s life into a few lines and expect justice to be done. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells us that there is a time for all things.

Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 NIV

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Joe was loved

Joe was loved from before he was born. The hopes instilled in your hearts for him grew as he grew through his childhood. Those hopes were challenged as he faced his own challenges, but the love did not stop. His challenges also grew as he grew and the family grew, but your love did not stop.

Throughout his life, he learned to love back from your examples. Our love can only strive to be perfect and complete. It never works entirely on its own. It often misses the mark or gets displaced toward other things instead of the people who need it most. Indeed, some of us face challenges that overwhelm us constantly, pushing us backward for days after even a small victory. When we look at our scorecards for our wins and losses, it can be really messy. Joe, like the rest of us, had a messy scorecard.

That mess can be frustrating, especially when we all have our own messes we must work through. When we cannot fix ourselves, we try to fix others, and when we cannot fix others, we run and hide or stand and fight, knowing that it is a losing battle. We avoid places like this because it is challenging to be here, and death seems to be the enemy that always wins in the end.

King Solomon, the one who wrote that passage in Ecclesiastes about there being a time for everything, also wrote this:

Ecclesiastes 7:2 NIV

2 It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.

He understood suffering and grief, and he might argue that it is in our grief that we can be most honest and wise. Grief alone does not make us wise, but something powerful happens when it comes in contact with love. The suffering is redeemed in a way that can become something bigger than our pain. It is happening here today. Death, disease, and pain did not win here in the house of mourning because you are here, gathered because you loved Joe, and it is your love that will continue to speak after the sting of his death has faded away.

Redeemed by God’s Love

That is made possible because God’s love redeems us, even when we are grieving. While your love hovered around Joe during his life, God’s love was always present. Sometimes, God loved Joe through you, and other times, God loved him through other means. The Bible tells us that God did not only love Joe on his best days, in his younger years, when he was easy to love. God loved him at his worst. And God still loves Joe today.

It is hard to accept and receive that love when we are messy. Something in us wants to keep Jesus at a distance, afraid that whatever we have going on might be contagious or that we might only bring our mess into Jesus’s perfect life. But that never stops Jesus from loving us or anyone else.

In John Chapter 11, Jesus stood outside the tomb of a dear friend named Lazarus and wept. The family had asked Jesus to come and heal their brother, but Jesus did not heal him. He did not show up in person until after the funeral was over. And then he stood there and wept because even God knows the pain of grief and loss. Until that moment, everyone questioned why Jesus allowed this to happen, but when He joined them in their grief, they all recognized His love for them. God is always better at loving than us, but He never acts like we are beneath Him.

That love of Jesus called Lazarus out of the tomb, and while everyone there cringed in horror at what might happen, Lazarus emerged, restored with new life, and the grief of the day was replaced by joy in the love of Jesus. That resurrection Lazarus experienced was temporary. He would die again. We don’t know if it was fifty years later or a few months later when many of the followers of Jesus were persecuted and killed, but the joy they all experienced showed them that the love of Jesus is stronger than death. It is stronger than anything, and it redeems all of our suffering.

Words of Comfort

Our hope is in Jesus. I don’t know what kind of relationship Joe had with Jesus. Honestly, it would not matter if I did. Our hope is not in what we know about Joe. Our hope is in Jesus. If Joe wanted eternal life with Jesus, Jesus made it possible, just as He has done for all of us.

You hurt and grieve, and I can sympathize with your grief today, knowing what it is like, even though I will never know exactly what you are dealing with. There are waves of sadness and relief that will wash over you as the Holy Spirit covers you in God’s grace and brings you to a place of comfort. Some of your good memories with Joe will bubble up to the surface in those pangs of grief, reminding you of better times in the middle of your sadness. Some of the harder memories will fade away with time. It won’t be today or even this week, but slowly, if you let God lead you, He will show you His love shining through the whole way, and your soul will find peace.

We mourn our loss today, knowing Joe does not have to fight his battles anymore. Yet we continue in our broken world, facing our struggles each day. But we do not do it alone. The love of God for Joe has brought you all together today, allowing you to share that love with each other. And you won’t face those struggles forever. Jesus promised those who followed Him that although they would face trials in this world, He would prepare a home for them and that someday, He would return to bring them to that home, to be with Him forever.

In the meantime, He gives us His peace. He does not give as the world gives, looking for something in return. His peace is not fragile like the peace we occasionally experience. His peace goes beyond our understanding and helps us see and experience the love He has for us, the love He has for Joe, and that He will hold us close as He leads and guides us to better, brighter days ahead.

Closing Prayer

Lord, thank You for the life of Joe, whom we have gathered today to celebrate. We thank You for those moments where we experienced Your love through Him. We thank You for the opportunities You gave us to share Your love with Him. We are grateful for even the hard times, which reminded us how much we need You in our lives. Today, I ask for Your peace and comfort to cover the friends and family gathered here, soothe their pain of loss, and open their eyes anew to Your love for them. We return Joe to You. He was Yours before He was ours. We pray for Your grace and mercy to cover us and help us to love one another well. In Jesus’ name. Amen.